Four-Colour Commentary

Showgirls (movie)

I had easy, free access to sitting through this crap fest, and I thought, hell, I've never seen it. Let's see how bad it actually is.

Well, as it turns out, it's pretty damn bad. This is two hours of standard "we want to bring in a big-ass audience" Hollywood dreck. Granted, Elizabeth Neverheardfromagain is very attractive and not a bad dancer, so given that about 65% of the film has her either naked or in mid-coitus, you'd think there'd be some entertainment value, but there really isn't. The plucky young heroine achieves material success and then nobly gives it up, but not before her ethnic/expendable girlfriend (not that kind) gets brutally raped for no good reason. And in case that's too depressing, there's also a convenient predatory lesbian in a cowboy hat, just for flavour.

Of course, Paul Verhoeven, who one suspects is capable of making a good movie, claims the whole thing is commentary, that it's supposed to be tacky and exploitative, that it's "ironic." That's a pseudo-post-modern dodge that I just don't think we buy anymore. Regardless of the intentions or intended intentions of the creators, the movie's success, what little of it there was, rested comfortably in the cleavage and between the legs of its stars (not counting Kyle McClachlan, of course).

I can now, in total honesty, say that this movie is exactly as bad as everyone said.